maustracks

Yesterday, without warning, i re-learned what it was like to connect with someone on the deepest, most profound and fundamental level. This is a person i'd been wanting to talk with for some time, but for reasons of time and distance and misplaced yearnings, had always missed. Last night, thanks to the newly-discovered Skype, we had the most amazing conversation, for about three hours.

Through it, i came to a realization about myself that is so, so major; a discovery of a trauma long-buried that i'd honestly thought i'd recovered from, but that has been affecting my life (and relationships) in crucial ways.

Now i can really begin to heal.

Now i remember how to admire.

Now, maybe, finally, i can forgive myself for being myself.